Fiction Useless Inventions
The Snooze Negotiator
An alarm clock that will happily give you nine more minutes, but only after you have submitted a short written case explaining why you deserve them.
Fiction — invented for fun
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Useless Inventions
Patent-pending solutions to problems no one has.
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Fiction Useless Inventions
The Heritage Tangling Case
A handsome leather pouch for your old wired headphones that, with the help of a tiny motor, ties them into a proper knot overnight, just like they used to do by themselves.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Diplomatic Thermostat
An office thermostat that gives every person who touches it exactly the temperature they asked for, on its little screen, while the actual room stays precisely where it was.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Seat-Saving Sofa Cushion
It learns the exact shape of the person who sits there most, and when anyone else settles into that spot, it inflates, very politely, until they move.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Goodbye Extender
A telescopic hallway that grows a little longer every time someone says right, we really should be going, and then does not go.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Shoelace Referee
A clip-on whistle that shows you a yellow card for a loose shoelace, which sounds pointless until you meet the one person who truly needs it.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Car Horn That Says Sorry
A hobbyist decided the loudest button in the car should also be able to apologise, so he gave the horn a second, much smaller voice.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Certificate Printer for Small Wins
A desk machine that prints a formal, gold-bordered certificate for achievements such as remembering to take the washing in before it rained.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Museum Rope for the Home
Two brass posts and a length of burgundy velvet rope, for cordoning off the one corner of your house that is currently tidy.
Fiction Useless Inventions
The Considerate Vacuum
A vacuum cleaner that stops the instant anybody in the room begins to speak, so that it never once interrupts, and therefore never once finishes.