Namefog

namefog (NAYM-fog), noun. The sudden and complete disappearance of a name from the mind, which happens reliably at the instant the name is needed and at no other time. You are standing on a busy street with two people you like. You turn, open your hand, and begin the introduction with great confidence. Then, somewhere between the gesture and the sentence, the name simply leaves. It does not fade. It goes, all at once, like a light switched off in another room.

The word joins name with fog, in the sailor’s sense of something that arrives without warning, hides everything nearby and lifts the moment it no longer matters. Namefog is not true forgetting. The name has not gone anywhere. It is standing just outside the room, perfectly safe, waiting politely for the introduction to be over so that it can walk back in and make you feel foolish. It will return. It will simply not return in time.

The cruelty is all in the timing. Namefog never strikes while you are thinking about the person, saying their name to somebody else or writing it on a birthday card. It waits for the open hand, the half-turn and the words “this is,” and arrives in the gap between them. Every rescue attempt makes it worse. “Mate” fools nobody. “You two know each other, don’t you?” fools even fewer people. And the disastrous “Have you met?” invites the other person to supply the name, confirming to everyone present that you could not.

Usage: “He got as far as ‘this is’ and entered a namefog so complete that he introduced his brother-in-law of eleven years as a colleague. The name came back, unprompted and useless, forty minutes later in the car.” Related forms include fogshake, the handshake that lasts too long while you search for a name, and the reverse namefog, when you remember a stranger’s name perfectly and cannot think of your own.

Behind the joke is an experience almost everyone shares. Names seem to be among the easiest things to lose for a moment, especially when we are under a little pressure, in a noisy place, or trying to do several things at once, like smiling, gesturing and keeping a conversation going. The more we worry about forgetting, the more the name seems to slip away, and it very often comes back later, once we have stopped trying to reach for it.

So if namefog strikes, the kindest way out is honesty. Say, with a smile, that your mind has just gone blank, and ask the two people to introduce themselves. Nearly everyone has been there, and most will laugh with you rather than at you. Better still, turn to the person you know and say “I’d love you to meet my friend,” then let them finish the sentence. The name will be back by the time you get to the car.