Made-Up Words glossary

A

Aislefret: (n.) The anxiety of choosing a supermarket queue, immediately followed by the certainty that you have chosen wrong.

Bagpride: (n.) The quiet private triumph of getting the entire shop into one bag, felt by somebody who will never be able to tell anyone about it.
Bramblewait: (n.) The pause with your hand already in the hedge, spent deciding that the blackberry you can reach is not the one you deserve.
Buzzghost: (n.) The phone vibration you feel clearly and distinctly against your leg, from a phone that did not vibrate, and quite often is not in that pocket at all.

Crumbdiplomacy: (n.) The long, wordless negotiation conducted over the last biscuit on the plate, in which everybody's goal is to eat it while appearing not to want it.

Dodgewaltz: (n.) The short, unrehearsed dance performed by two strangers on a pavement who both step left, then both step right, then both apologise, then both step left again.
Doorlapse: (n.) The complete wipe of purpose that happens somewhere between leaving one room and arriving in the next, leaving you standing in the kitchen with no idea why.

Echowish: (n.) The reflex that fires a good wish straight back at the person who offered it, so that a waiter setting down your dinner is warmly told to enjoy his meal too.

Freezerhope: (n.) The faith that the unlabelled container at the back of the freezer contains something good, sustained by never opening it.

Laughlend: (n.) A hearty, generous laugh given in response to a joke you did not hear, offered on credit in the hope that nobody will ask what you found funny.
Lidfaith: (n.) The serene confidence with which you carry a full takeaway cup whose lid you have not actually checked.
Lingerstride: (n.) The deliberately slowed walk you adopt on an otherwise empty pavement so that you never have to overtake the stranger ahead of you.

Melodwell: Have you ever arrived at your destination but found yourself utterly unable to open the car door? You might be experiencing a sudden, beautiful bout of melodwell.
Mugmigration: (noun) The slow one-way drift of mugs out of the kitchen into every other room of the house, noticed only when the cupboard is empty and the sink is not.

Namefog: (n.) The total blank that arrives at the exact moment you begin to introduce two people, one of whom you have known for eleven years.

Obligallop: (n.) The small, entirely unnecessary jog you perform when a stranger holds a door open for you from an unreasonable distance.

Pagedrift: (n.) The quiet exit of your attention from a page your eyes keep reading anyway, noticed four paragraphs later when you have to go back and find the last sentence you can honestly claim.
Peelgrace: (n.) The small, glowing joy of peeling the clear film off a brand-new screen in one unbroken sheet, without a single tear or bubble.
Plugspin: (n.) The ritual of trying a plug one way up, then the other, then the first way again, which somehow now works perfectly.
Pocketdrum: (n.) The brisk little drumroll you play on your own pockets in the doorway, checking for keys, phone and wallet in the same order every single time.
Portelude: (n.) The blank half-second at a door you have used a thousand times, in which you have no idea whether it pushes or pulls.
Pressumption: (n.) The firm private belief that pressing the lift button a second time makes the lift arrive sooner.

Quillemency: (n.) The small mercy by which a pen you have just proven to be dead is returned to the pot rather than the bin.
Quombilate: (v.) To stand in front of an open fridge, lit by its light, having forgotten what you wanted.

Seatecho: (n.) The lingering warmth of a seat recently vacated by a stranger, which is somehow far less welcome than a cold seat, even on the coldest day of the year.
Sneezelimbo: (n.) The long, undignified pause with your eyes half shut, mouth open and one hand raised, waiting for a sneeze that has clearly announced itself and then changed its mind.
Stairhoard: (n.) The small, patient heap at the foot of the staircase, made entirely of things that belong upstairs, which the whole household steps over for six days.
Sundromble: (n.) The faint sadness of folding a clean towel that smells too good to put away.

Tabhoard: Tabhoard is the quiet row of open browser tabs you are keeping for later, each one a small promise that later will somehow arrive.
Tepidence: (n.) The third reheating of a drink you have no real intention of finishing.

Wavelorn: (adj.) Stranded in public after cheerfully returning a wave that was meant for the person behind you, with your hand still up and nowhere dignified to put it.

Yawnrelay: (n.) The single yawn that sets off at one end of a meeting table and travels, person by person, all the way to the other end, where the dog lying under it yawns too.