Fiction Useless Inventions
The Stapler That Asks If You Are Sure
A handsome desk stapler that will not fire a single staple until you have confirmed, twice, that you really do want these pages joined forever.
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Fiction Animal News — Fiction
Magpie Denies Interest in Shiny Things, Calls It an Old Rumour
A statement delivered at length from a fence post asks the public to stop leaving teaspoons out, and requests one very specific kind of bendy twig instead.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Laughlend
(n.) A hearty, generous laugh given in response to a joke you did not hear, offered on credit in the hope that nobody will ask what you found funny.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Seatecho
(n.) The lingering warmth of a seat recently vacated by a stranger, which is somehow far less welcome than a cold seat, even on the coldest day of the year.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Sneezelimbo
(n.) The long, undignified pause with your eyes half shut, mouth open and one hand raised, waiting for a sneeze that has clearly announced itself and then changed its mind.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Dodgewaltz
(n.) The short, unrehearsed dance performed by two strangers on a pavement who both step left, then both step right, then both apologise, then both step left again.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Yawnrelay
(n.) The single yawn that sets off at one end of a meeting table and travels, person by person, all the way to the other end, where the dog lying under it yawns too.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Buzzghost
(n.) The phone vibration you feel clearly and distinctly against your leg, from a phone that did not vibrate, and quite often is not in that pocket at all.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Doorlapse
(n.) The complete wipe of purpose that happens somewhere between leaving one room and arriving in the next, leaving you standing in the kitchen with no idea why.
Fiction Made-Up Words
Mugmigration
(noun) The slow one-way drift of mugs out of the kitchen into every other room of the house, noticed only when the cupboard is empty and the sink is not.